Jonathan Swift

He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put into vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers.

I cannot but conclude that the author's project was a very odd one.

Satire, being levelled at all, is never resented for an offence by any.

Hodie totus mundus in malis est.

I love good creditable acquaintance; I love wit and good humour; I love to be at my ease.

The perpetual noise of children crying and servants scolding.

I have a mind to make a bonfire of all the fine things I have.

Authors are like the first makers of tapestries, who, having spread out the cartoon, are at a loss to fill the void spaces.

The common fluency of speech in many men, and most women, is owing to a long habit of emptying the mind in the same manner one empties a milk-pail.

Once in a century a man may be ruined or made insufferable by praise.

What is witness to the truth, is testimony to the fact.

The art of scolding, especially in women, is as useful as a frying pan.

A coming shower your shooting corns presage.

Philosophy! The purse of the poor and the complaint of the rich.

I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church, to preserve all that travel by land, or by water.

The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be cured.