Mark Twain — "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school …"
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can."
"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained."
"Do your duty today and repent tomorrow."
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
American humorist and inventor of the American vernacular novel; author of Huckleberry Finn (1884) and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Closely associated with William Dean Howells (his close friend, editor, and 'Dean of American Letters') and Bret Harte (early collaborator on Western frontier humor). For an intellectual contrast, see Mary Baker Eddy, founder of the Christian Science movement — Twain's Christian Science (1907) is a 200-page sustained polemic against Eddy's claims of supernatural healing — the longest sustained attack of his career.
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