"Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat."

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you're interrupting."

"I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name."