"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."

"True love can be defined as the love of a good woman and a good cigar."

"Mankind has been making a mess of things for a long time."

"I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatle…"