"I have a temper, but I have learned to control it. My temper is like a dog that I have trained to lie down when I tell it to."

"If you don't read a newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read it, you are misinformed."

"Nothing so needs reforming more than other people's habits."

"When angry count to four; when very angry, swear."

"I had a great deal of trouble with my wife, so I got married again."