"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

"I believe that the only way to get a man to do a thing is to make him believe that he is doing it of his own free will."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."

"The church is always trying to get money, and always trying to be popular, and always doing both things very badly."