"I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to make people laugh."

"I'm not a religious person, but I'm a spiritual person. I believe in a higher power."

"Being a child is a lot like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you."

"One day [when I relapsed] I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel's. And then that voice - I call it the 'lower power' - goes, 'Hey. Just a taste. Just one.' I drank it, and there…"

"You know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I'm from an entirely different solar system where we just communicate by throwing cheese at each other."