"Why do they say 'break a leg' when you're about to go on stage? Why not 'break an arm'? Or 'break a nose'? It's always a leg."

"You could talk about oral sex in this town and people would nod wisely and say, ‘Well, that’s an alternative lifestyle.’ But talk about nuclear power and they’d burn your house down."

"I was a very shy kid. I was always in my own head. I was always making up characters and doing voices."

"I just want to make people laugh. And if I can do that, then I'm happy."

"We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion."