"I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

"I'm not a comedian. I'm a social critic. I'm a philosopher. I'm a poet. I'm a writer. I'm a performer. I'm an artist. I'm a human being. I'm a man. I'm a man of constant sorrow, and I'm a man of const…"

"I have a lot of anger. I have a lot of rage. I have a lot of resentment. And I use it. I use it in my comedy. I use it in my writing. I use it in my life."

"All you have to do is look at slavery, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust, and the World Trade Center, and you'll see how seriously the religious folks take 'Thou Shalt Not …"

"I'm not a fan of organized sports. I think it's a bunch of people running around in circles, chasing a ball, and then someone wins and someone loses, and then everyone goes home."