"“This is the only country in the world where you can murder a black man and say, 'Oh, I was scared,' and the police will be like, 'Oh, okay.' But if you say, 'I was scared' and you punch a gay man, th…"

"I'm not a lawyer. I'm an advocate for truth."

"They got a character on there named Oscar, they treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right in his face, 'Oscar, you are so mean! Isn't he kids?' 'Yeah, Oscar! You're a grouch!' It'…"

"The only thing that's certain is death and taxes. And me, being funny."

"To what extent do I have to participate in your self image?"