"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory."

"I spell 'God' G-O-O-D. And I spell 'evil' D-I-V-L. Because if you take the 'd' out of 'devil,' it's 'evil.'"

"I'm a walking, talking, breathing miracle."

"I'm just a simple country boy from Oklahoma."

"I'm a walking, talking encyclopedia of bizarre information."