"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."

"But the truth is, that when a Library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights …"

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"I was educated in the public schools of Missouri, which were not good enough to do me any harm."

"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."