"Avoid professions where you are paid for your opinions rather than for results."

"The more you talk, the less people listen."

"The world is divided into two types of people: those who divide the world into two types of people, and those who don't."

"Journalists make me feel dirty."

"When I die, I want the highest number of firemen, risk takers, & other real people and the smallest number of academics to attend my funeral."