"I want to write books that only those who read them claim they did."

"Be polite, but ignore comments, praise, and criticism from people you wouldn't hire."

"When I die, I want the highest number of firemen, risk takers, & other real people and the smallest number of academics to attend my funeral."

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary."

"Finance professors have the highest salaries in academia, we overpay for them to stay on campus."