"The only two things that are infinite are the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

"The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."

"I have found that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them."