"I'm not a very good barber. I always cut off an ear."

"I'm just a normal guy who happens to have a very abnormal job."

"I used to think I was a rock star, but I'm just a guy who gets paid to make noise."

"I don't understand why people are afraid of new ideas. I'm afraid of old ones."

"The funny thing is, I was never much of a fighter. Better a live coward than a dead hero, that was my motto."