"The only way to truly understand life is to experience it."

"We are not a therapy. We are a religion."

"Xenu is an intergalactic warlord who brought billions of people to Earth and stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs."

"All men are your slaves, or they are your enemies, or they are your tools."

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."