"I can prove the Earth is flat with a laser pointer and a spirit level. You can't do that with a globe."

"Gravity is a hoax. Things fall because of density and buoyancy, not some mythical force pulling us down."

"There are no 'satellites' in orbit. They are either balloons, drones, or just don't exist."

"The curvature formulas are nonsense. They don't apply to the real world."

"Columbus didn't prove the Earth was round; he proved you could sail west and come back east on a flat Earth model."