"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. Unless it's a really good pain, like from laughing too hard."

"I'm not a political person. I'm a human being. And I'm concerned about human beings."

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

"I've learned that a good laugh can cure almost anything. Except maybe a broken leg. Or a bad hair day."

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."