"I'm not a comedian. I'm a serious man. And I try to make people laugh sometimes."

"I don’t care about your damn religion."

"I don’t give a damn about your damn politics."

"I've been known to throw a few punches in my day. But I've also been known to take a few punches. And I've always gotten back up."

"I wear the black for those who've never read, or listened to the words that Jesus said, about the road to happiness through love and charity. Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me."