"The very first thing I noticed when I was a little kid was that the grown-ups were full of shit. And they're still full of shit. And they still think they're not."

"I'm not a role model. I'm a warning."

"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?"

"I don't vote. On Election Day, I stay home. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. Now, some people like to twist that around and say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right …"

"If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"