"“I'm not trying to be politically correct. I'm trying to be funny.”"

"A lot of people think I'm a dirty comedian. I'm not. I'm a clean comedian. I just talk about dirty things."

"Every day, people are dying. They're not dying because they're old, they're not dying because they're sick, they're dying because they're bored."

"I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who did what he had to do."

"“I'm not trying to shock you. I'm trying to make you think.”"