"Just About an Hour Ago We Had an Incident Where One of the Employees Stuck Their Arm Through the Cage and the Tiger Tore Her Arm Off... I Can Give You Your Money Back or I Can Give You a Rain Check."

"I'm a man of many talents, and I'm not afraid to show them off."

"People are a lot easier to be around when they're not tweaking out on meth."

"I don’t care if I’m in prison for the rest of my life—I still won’t shut up."

"I've got a mullet, I've got tattoos, and I've got tigers. What more do you want?"