George Bernard Shaw

I am a genius. But, alas, no one believes it.

The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.

The greatest problem of getting on in the world is the preservation of humor.

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

To be in love with the person who wants to 'see you' and 'take a walk' with you, is a sure cure against all pangs of envy.

The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

Revolutions have never lightened the burden of tyranny: they have only shifted it to another shoulder.

The art of reading is slowly dying, the stock of books is slowly dwindling.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

Beware of the man whose god is in the skies.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.