Mark Twain

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.