Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Classic: A book which people praise and do not read.

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

The most interesting information is that which is not true.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

When in doubt, tell the truth.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a hell of a lot of trouble.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.