Mark Twain

I have been through a good deal of suffering, but I have never had a headache.

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because I have a great aversion to being dragged into print.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately, everybody drinks water.)

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

I am not an American. I am the American.

I have been a good boy, and I mean to be a good boy still.

I am not a humorist. I am a writer who sometimes uses humor.

I am not an optimist. I am a pessimist who hopes for the best.

I have a perfect right to make a fool of myself, and I don't need anybody's permission.

I am not a Christian. I am a follower of Christ.

I am not an atheist. I am a deist.

I am not a socialist. I am an individualist.

I am not a democrat. I am a republican.

I am not a saint. I am a sinner.

I am not a hero. I am a coward.

I am not a genius. I am a hard worker.

I am not a philosopher. I am a storyteller.

I am not a teacher. I am a student.