Mark Twain

I am not a destroyer. I am a creator.

I am not a hater. I am a lover.

I am not a pessimist. I am an optimist.

I am not a cynic. I am an idealist.

I am not a realist. I am a dreamer.

I have been complimented many times, and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

I am opposed to the government of the people, by the people, for the people. I am in favor of the government of the people, by the people, for the people who are not fools.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

The average man is a conformist, accepting the standards of conduct current in his community and country as the ultimate standards of right.

It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.

I have no special regard for that kind of morality which consists in never having done anything but what was customary and respectable.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. Everybody drinks water.

Familiarity breeds contempt—and children.

I did not attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.