Harry Truman

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

I fired MacArthur because he wouldn't respect the authority of the president. I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a bitch, although he was.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself.

Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here.

I had flat eyeballs as a boy, and couldn't see well enough to play ball with the other kids. So they made me the umpire.

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.

Now. listen I ate your bouquet i drank your dishwater. but damn if I'm going to eat that bug.

I do not believe in shooting anything that cannot shoot back.

My favorite animal is the mule. He has more sense than a horse. He knows when to stop eating — and when to stop working.

They are trying to make an elder statesmen of me, but they will never succeed.

A politician is a man who understands government, and it takes a politician to run a government. A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years.

The atom bomb was no 'great decision.' It was merely another powerful weapon in the arsenal of righteousness.

It is a terrible thing for a man to get a reputation for being a storyteller. When you tell a story, they don't believe you.

Being a President is like riding a tiger. A man has to keep on riding or be swallowed.

You know, it's easy to be a Monday morning quarterback. It's a lot harder to be a Saturday afternoon quarterback.

I don't give a damn what the papers say. I'm going to do what I think is right.

A politician is a man who understands government, and who is interested in the welfare of the people of the country.

The greatest part of all the Presidential troubles are the people who claim that they are the President's friends.