"It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it thoroughly fumigated, and then put in a new lot of furniture."

"It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning."

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

"I would not live forever. Because we should not live forever. Because if we did live forever, then we would live forever."