"The value of a conundrum is in exact proportion to the extent of its demerit, and that it is only positively good when it is outrageously and scandalously absurd."

"I have been a victim of a thousand phantasies."

"The women, too, it appears, were oddly deformed by a natural protuberance of the region just below the small of the back—although, most unaccountably, this deformity was looked on altogether in the li…"

"Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine..."

"My generous throat has shared among the fishes."