Here's a little poem by my friend, Jack Handy: 'I hope that after I die, people will say, 'He was a good man. He was a kind man. He was a man who loved his family.' And then, after a brief pause, 'But he was no George Carlin.'
Comedian, social critic
Stand-up special, 'You Are All Diseased'
1999
Found in 1 providers: grok
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"The government is lying to you. They always have been. They always will be. And you're still falling for it."
Humorous"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?"
Humorous"I love it when people say, 'I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual.' That's like saying, 'I'm not a vegetarian, but I don't eat meat.'"
Strange & Unusual"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
Shocking"I'm not an atheist. I'm an agnostic. I don't know if there's a God or not. And I don't care."
Strange & Unusual