"I don't care what you believe. I care what you can prove."

"We spend the first year of a child's life teaching it to walk and talk and the rest of its life to shut up and sit down."

"I'm often asked if I believe in UFOs. I'm open to the possibility, but I need evidence. I need the aliens to land on the White House lawn, or at least in my backyard, and say hello."

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

"I'm not saying I'm Batman. I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room."