"The finest clothing made is a man's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this."

"I was educated once, but it didn't take."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it thoroughly fumigated, and then put in a new lot of furniture."

"The human race is a joke. We are the only beings on this planet that have developed a sense of humor, and yet we are the only ones who take ourselves seriously."