"Why do they say 'break a leg' when you're about to go on stage? Why not 'break an arm'? Or 'break a nose'? It's always a leg."

"Why do they call it a 'walk' when you're running?"

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

"I'm not a politician, I'm an entertainer."