"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries."

"There's no harm in hoping for the best as long as you're prepared for the worst."

"Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position."

"Are you gonna get ready for bed or just stand there like Helen Keller havin a wet dream?"

"We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones."