"I am not an American. I am a Missourian."

"I believe that the only way to get a man to do a thing is to make him believe that he is doing it of his own free will."

"Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do."