"I don’t care if you’re a girl, a boy, a transsexual, or a fucking goat. If you’re an asshole, I’ll treat you like an asshole."

"I even thought that I was gay. I thought that might be the solution to my problem. Although I never experimented with it, I had a gay friend and then my mother wouldn't allow me to be friends with him…"

"Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art."

"I won't eat anything green."

"I'm not a very good musician."