"I don't believe in heaven. I don't believe in hell. I don't believe in an afterlife. I believe in this life. And I believe in making the most of it."

"My mama always told me, 'Richard, if you don't got nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all.' But I always got something good to say!"

"I'm not a megalomaniac. I just want to rule the world."

"I was in the hospital, and I looked at my chart, and it said, 'Richard Pryor, 42 years old, male, black.' I said, 'Damn, they got me right on the chart!'"

"I got in a fight with my wife. She said, 'You're not a man!' I said, 'I'm a man! I got a penis!' She said, 'Yeah, but it's not working!'"