"I can almost promise you some of you will be urinated on. If that happens, we have T-shirts in the gift shop that says, 'I got peed on by a tiger.'"

"I Am Gay As A Three Dollar Bill, And I'm Standing In A Cage With Five Full-Grown Tigers And Lions."

"I fed tigers expired Walmart meat—it’s cheaper than dog food."

"I'm a hero."

"The only time I've ever smoked weed was right after Travis died."