"I don't use a smart phone. I use a 'dumb phone' that only makes calls."

"My friend opened a tin of sardines and began eating them with very small bites. I said, 'You can't do that! That's can-nibble-ism!'"

"Don't use services that spy on you."

"The term 'open source' is a betrayal of the free software movement."

"I could dig up some dirt on you if I wanted to."