I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
"Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him."
"I was educated in the public schools of Missouri, which were not good enough to do me any harm."
"I am not an American. I am a Missourian."
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
American humorist and inventor of the American vernacular novel; author of Huckleberry Finn (1884) and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Closely associated with William Dean Howells (his close friend, editor, and 'Dean of American Letters') and Bret Harte (early collaborator on Western frontier humor). For an intellectual contrast, see Mary Baker Eddy, founder of the Christian Science movement — Twain's Christian Science (1907) is a 200-page sustained polemic against Eddy's claims of supernatural healing — the longest sustained attack of his career.
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