"You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense, neither is this girl. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other."

"The only reason Mickey Mouse has four fingers is because he can’t pick up a check."

"I'm not a serious person. I'm a funny person."

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."

"What's wrong with having a little fun? You can't take it with you."