"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that."

"I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a guy who likes to argue."

"I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

"I'm not an athiest, I'm just an agnostic. I don't know. I don't know if there's a God. I don't know if there isn't. I'm just waiting for more information."

"The only good thing about the good old days is that they're gone."