"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions."

"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."

"I was thinking about the immortal words of Archimedes, 'Give me a lever and a place to stand, and I will move the world.' So, I built a lever, but I couldn't find a place to stand. I decided to move t…"

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be."

"I'm not a shrink. I'm just a guy who likes to listen."