"The government is not your friend. The government is not your enemy. The government is your government."

"The government is lying to you. They always have been. They always will be. And you're still falling for it."

"If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"I'm not a fan of reality television. I think it's a bunch of people who are trying to be famous, and they're willing to do anything to get it."

"Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes."