"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."

"I’ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born."

"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We start bombing in five minutes."

"I've always believed that the best way to predict the future is to create it."