"I'm not a shrink. I'm just a guy who likes to listen."

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"I'm not a fan of reality television. I think it's a bunch of people who are trying to be famous, and they're willing to do anything to get it."

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."