I believe in reincarnation. In my next life, I want to be a cat. To sleep 20 hours a day and wait to be fed. To sit and lick my ass. I've always wanted to do that.
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"I'm a big believer in the power of laughter. I think it's the best medicine."
"It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't."
"I'm a big fan of physical comedy. I think it's timeless."
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
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