I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet.
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"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
"Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
American humorist and inventor of the American vernacular novel; author of Huckleberry Finn (1884) and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Closely associated with William Dean Howells (his close friend, editor, and 'Dean of American Letters') and Bret Harte (early collaborator on Western frontier humor). For an intellectual contrast, see Mary Baker Eddy, founder of the Christian Science movement — Twain's Christian Science (1907) is a 200-page sustained polemic against Eddy's claims of supernatural healing — the longest sustained attack of his career.
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